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Wednesday 28 November 2012

Desperately seeking a boyfriend. (Lol, jk.)

Last time I checked I have been single for, approximately, 6 months. I am  aware a certain proportion of you will have gasped already. Take a second, breathe and relax. Yep, that's right: 6 months. 
182 days. 
4382 hours. 
262974 minutes. 
Granted it does sound a lot longer in minutes...

You will undoubtedly question why I'm informing you of my single life progress, almost as if it bothers me and I keep freakish tabs on it. And for those that pondered, no I didn't sit here and work out the days, minutes and hours. Google helped me. I don't have that much free time on my hands. 

Well I guess there's two reasons for bringing it up. First of which, I'm extremely excited about Bridget Jones' Diary 3 coming out (the topic matter relates). My second reason, which really links to my excitement about Bridget Jones, is to ask the world dearly to stop asking about my 'love life'. Maybe not the world, but you'll know who you are if you're reading this. Yes, you.

You'd think I were a spinster, locked away in a rural house knitting and my only company being my cat and the postman that delivers the post once a fortnight. I'm a girl. I'm 19. I still take pride in my appearance. And I leave my house on a regular basis. There really is nothing to worry about. I know I joked about being 80, single and living with cats in a previous post (click here to read it), but I almost feel the need to emphasise the comedic stance of that post.

I know so many people that have this overruling desire and aim in life to constantly be on 'boyfriend lookout'. People that can't survive without a co-dependent in their life and, well, I think that's sad. 

I used to think being in a relationship was the coolest thing in the world. It gives you a bit of routine, it gives you someone to talk to on a regular basis, it's what I consider to be a safe state to be in. And of course I'm not saying I don't ever want that again, I just have come to realise there's more to life than making the bed after a boyfriend that never helps out. Hahaha. What a stereotype. Of course I am JOKING - some boys are very well house trained. You get my jist though, I've just got some new priorities in life.

So far in my 4382 hours of free time I have decided some goals and changed my outlook towards achieving them. For one I'm setting aside my twenties to do the things I want to do. And maybe that will mean for a portion of it I don't want someone tying me down. I'm not saying they would necessarily stop me doing what I want to do, but if I've got someone who's not permanently fixed (as opposed to family) close to me it'd would only add to the factors of how I could talk myself out of taking risks and going places.

I also quite want to learn a new language. I loved French, and I still do, but due to (boring) reasons I couldn't continue it as a wild option at uni. So maybe I'll polish that up. Maybe I'll learn a new language. I have always loved everything Scandinavian so it'd be cool to (emphasis on the try) learn Swedish or Norwegian. 

So I hopefully won't end up like Bridget. I'm a firm believer in 'never say never'. If the right boy comes along, I'm yours. I'm just not rushing into anything for the sake of it. CBA for all that pointless emotional malarchy.




Sunday 25 November 2012

The girl speaks sense

All the things you start off with in life are given to you by somebody else. Your birth may be the start of your personal story, but you're thrown midway into a different and developed story. You have to be brave and try to start again. It might be a little scary. Not many people say ‘let’s start life over and do it again the way I want to.’
 

Sunday 18 November 2012

The paralysis of life

Who are you?
Are you in touch with all of your darkest fantasies?
Have you created a life for yourself where you can experience them?

I'd like to say this happens rarely, but it's becoming more and more frequent that I wonder about my life. I lead a somewhat straight forwardly simple life - this isn't to deny its value however - and sometimes I wonder, am I doing it because I like it, or because fear gets in the way?

Undoubtedly for me the scariest part is not in asking such a question,  it's the fear of getting an answer. I don't really want an answer. Time is on my side. I'm young and independent and free. The one thing I do know though, is that I don't want to wake up middle aged asking myself the very same question.  

I want to experience the deafening sound of water crashing down Angel Falls, I want to lounge in the Blue Lagoon geothermal spa, to see first hand the Aurora Borealis and I want to spend time abroad learning a new language.

Possessing such a list isn't greed, and it surely should not be considered to be too expectant. The stark reality is that seeing life through a television screen, or scattered across pages of a magazine doesn't satisfy my appetite.

My hunger is growing and I yearn for reality.